As an adolescent addled by teen angst, I would’ve readily offered that I hated most people, but I believe that had more to do with my own insecurities than with any actual disdain for others. At that time I was not yet privy to the unique value of each individual. Even now, still young but with a well-defined sense of self, I do have a number of people who I can say I genuinely dislike, but I don’t think I could honestly claim to hate anyone. Those who I dislike are either cruel (but even those who are evil maintain a level of fascination) or do not like me. I’m sure whatever reason they have for disliking me is well-founded, and while I know that it’s ridiculous, I can’t help but feeling the same in return. Though my insecurities are notably stronger now ( though different from what they were when I was a teenager), I don’t project them onto others as I did then. And while I hold only a select few very close to me, I’m pleased about my wide and diverse social circle (not something I could’ve said five years ago). That is personal evolution. And if nothing else, that’s something I can be proud of.
I’m looking for semi-regular contributors to my music blog. So far the blog has only functioned as a dumping ground for songs and videos I’ve found interesting and wanted to share with others. But I’ve recently purchased a domain name and am sprucing up the ol’ blog to include music reviews and news about upcoming events, album releases, etc. Much as I love to write, I’d like the readers to experience a style and opinion outside of my own and this is where you come in. If you’re passionate about Portland music, attend a lot of shows, and have a knack for writing then I’d urge you to give me a holler. I’m looking for someone to contribute once a week or so, possibly more once it gets off the ground.
This is a non-paying gig, purely for folks who want to spread the word about the boss music scene here in Portland.
Here is a link to the site as it is (and as I said before, I’ve just bought a domain so this will all get revamped soon): http://pdxmusic.tumblr.com
So if you’re interested then send a little note my way: ashenirises@hotmail.com
Yours,
Maggie
I am a serious woman.
Held together with reassurances
And soft laughter.
I know of the suffering of silenced tantrums
And the dried eyes of afternoons.
I wait for distant voices
And heavy footfalls.
Where everything is as it should be
And I am small and unmoving.
This is a problem for several reasons, but mostly because I don’t want potential zombies that close to where I sleep at night. You never know.
I’ve become increasingly aware of the fact that a fair amount of my friends are very jealous people in relationships. This is a difficult subject for me to discuss with them as I not only do not share those feelings, but also have a very difficult time understanding them. I know that sometimes it’s hard not to be suspicious of someone because mistakes like that are made and infidelity is something that happens. But I don’t see how constantly preparing yourself to be cheated on is a productive or healthy thing. It will either happen or it won’t. Obsessing over it is helping no one, least of all yourself.
If you’re in a relationship with someone, then you trust them. And if you don’t, then you probably shouldn’t be with them. Simple as that.
